As seen on Pinterest, Entry #1 - The Eggy Muffin Lump

I have to admit I am becoming a bit of a fanatic on Pinterest.com.  If you step back a moment and examine your comings and goings on this website, you come to the conclusion pretty fast that over 99.999% of the things are either too difficult, too expensive, or two time consuming to even dream of executing. However, I do find that the meals that I find on Pinterest actually save me time, and well as add a little something different to my repertoire.   

     This morning we had limited time to get out the door, the kids and husband #1  were about to head to the movies to see Star Wars, something my husband has been trying to thrust upon my son for about a year now to no avail.   Thinking a stunning, loud, 3D experience may pound a love for All Things Starwars into their knobby heads, he whisked the children out the door this morning for a matinee.  I told the children in private, "even if you don't like it, act like you do, because it means a lot to your father".  When Husband #1 ( I just call him that in jest, I guess it's wishful thinking sometimes) then told the kids where they were going, my son joyfully exclaimed " wow, that sounds so cool, look how happy I am Dad!" and puts on a completely cheesy fake smile.   But I've gotten off track here and I have to get out the door soon, before the tyrants return so that I may get paint swatches for my kitchen, so, back to my little rant about Pinterest.  Here on my blog, that I oh so often do NOT come and post on when I promised myself I would, I will write about  my successes and failings at all things Pinterest-induced in a series of posts I like to call "As Seen On Pinterest".   First up, this Eggy Muffin Baconator thing.   Takes 5 minutes tops to assemble, 20 to cook and you have everything you love about breakfast right in a little compact muffin shaped glob.  

make 6 at a time for a big family.... it's one piece of circle cut white bread lining the bottom on a well sprayed muffin tin.

Line with a strip of bacon.  I use low sodium.

Crack an egg in the middle.  Puncture.

Crack salt and pepper on the top.

Repeat.

Cook in a preheated oven at 400 for 20 minutes.  Whaloa!  So Deeelish!

I'd say this one was a success, seeing my daughter ate it.  My son was too busy avoiding breakfast all together to even notice it.

Ok, I bought the wrong kind of toilet paper again, So Sue Me....

An Open Letter to my Husband

It was on sale, so I grabbed and ran.  Let's face it, I have three hours a day to get all my chores and shopping done before two children who resemble rabid raccoon walk through the door.  I didn't mean to buy single ply, you don't have to rub it in my face every time you take a shit.  We have 28 rolls left of this recombinant tree bark, and I do apologize.  I didn't realize how completely abrasive it was until I took a shadooby myself and thought I'd wiped my posterior with commercial grade sand paper.  Just wad it up really, really good and maybe invest in a little personal lubricant, or moisty wipes.  Just stop telling me about it and sharing details within earshot of our children, because now they are on me about the discomfort caused by the roll of death in the bathroom.

Sincerely, Your Wife.

Man Speak - Decoding the Male Auditory Response System

Being married to my husband is like a constant, on going experiment in the social sciences.  For example, for years  I have been trying to decode exactly what he hears when I ask him to do something, or, tell him something has been done, needs to be planned, or discussed in some fashion.   Recently, I had a lightbulb  moment when he let me into his brain for a split second, after typing in an instant message exactly it was that he heard when I spoke.  As a precursor, let me preface  to give you an idea of the environment.  We are expecting a snow storm any minute.  My son has requested eggs for dinner.  That's all.....Here is that example I was talking about:

• ME:  Stop after work and get salt. I got the kids winter gloves. I am also out of eggs. I went to wal mart and got some stuff. so all we need is salt for the ice, and eggs if you could stop somewhere and get eggs. Sagan likes to eat them for breakfast lately. 
• Now what he got from that.   HIM:  u need eggs?  eggs , eggs salt eggs gloves eggs walmart eggs sagan ice eggs
  got it.

Ok, this is an intelligent man with a relatively high i.q.  I know to some point he HAD to be joking.  But seriously, every conversation we have goes into his brain in a similar fashion.  What I predict will play out now, as it usually does, is he will go to Walmart, where they do not SELL egg. He will buy salt for the driveway, two pairs of children's gloves that will enevitably be too small,  two bags of ice which we do not need and will not fit into our freezer, realize Wal-Mart doesn't sell eggs, go to the grocery store, where he will then buy eggs, four boxes of cookies, razor blades,  coffee that is not on sale, as well as 2 boxes of ice-cream bars, four car magazines, a 12 pack of diet coke, and  2 matchbox cars for my son.   He will not purchase Lysol, tangerines, or black pepper, because he will not bother to call home and ask if there is anything I need.  Upon returning home, I will become cross with him for not listening to me and processing my requests, at which time he will become frustrated with ME because I wasn't clear.

This is how men and women often communicate.  This is why I have 5 years worth of men's deodorant and car magazines in my bathroom, and no eggs in my refrigerator.